Freedom From the Fight
by Trish Henderson
At
first sight the words rang out like gunfire
I wanted to scream at your judgments
and call you a liar
Hit with a bullet from a past not forgotten
Into my veins it resurfaced
the sick tearing open band-aided wounds
that should have been stitched
After reading the verse again and once again
the truth behind your words began to sink in
Though, not the first time that the truth has
hurt
None the less, a shock to see words
immortalizing actions not truly my best
But I too understand how cathartic self
expression feels
So I realized that this is what I must do For
myself
and maybe even you too
Yes I am weak, a bitch, and a coward,
At times feel lost and lonely
and can be seduced by power. . .
I also have strong opinions,
a mind of my own
I'm filled with laughter and love
feel pain and I cry
try to practice honesty,
compassion,
and hope to self actualize before I die
But dear, this is the path our life takes us on
We are not all born perfect and need trials to
make us strong
We break and we build
We love and we hate
We are human above all else
Surely you can relate?
While it has taken some time to find ME again
after freedom from vices I am thriving to win
So high, so high I had built that damn wall
at some point, you knew,
it was going to fall
And guess what?
That wall, it didn't crush me at all
Instead. . . I survived
I walked out from the rubble
eyes open and ALIVE
Into the clearing I was met by a man
This man I have hurt more than you'll ever know
and he still stands beside me as I continue to
grow
Life's lessons are consequences and I'll accept
mine
I will never give up
but will continue to shine
I realize my choices may have shattered not two
but four friends
However, there are more sides to this story
and no written end
I am no longer too proud to admit I was wrong
and I really don't care what words
you sing to your song
While you sit there and label,
make predictions,
and wait for my self destruction
I prefer to find freedom from pain,
get over the guilt,
and keep truckin'
Feel free to blame me if it makes you feel right
In the end only forgiveness
will free you from the fight. |
